I realized there have been a lot of Beckham blogs lately, and I think that’s cause he’s at such a fun age. He learns something new daily and is always making us laugh (usually when he’s being weird–he’s a ham!). His newest thing is wanting to hold and carry Tiny around. It’s funny to us to see how proud Becks is and how scared Tiny is. Poor Tiny. There’s a lot of chasing in this house lately. Lucky for Tiny he’s still faster…for now!
This past Tuesday when Laura and Beckham woke up we headed south a few miles to The Berry Patch. It is a farm for picking Blackberries and Blueberries. Unfortunately the blueberries are scarce this year due to global cooling. In April the bushes all thought it was spring and grew little flowers which will turn into blueberries later. Then as a result of Al Gore’s global warming it froze here for a few days even leaving snow on the ground. This killed the flowers and left The Berry Patch with few berries to be picked. We were able to buy fresh picked blueberries from Michigan that are driven down every few days. As for blackberries, they bloom later and survived the threat of global cooling. We were a week or so too early for tons of them, but found a pound worth of giant plump blackberries. Becks really learned how to pick only the black ones which was better than his mother was able to do. Today we had blueberry muffins Laura made and have eaten some really great blackberries. I think we will begin doing this on a regular basis due to the close proximity of the place.
A few weeks back we went to an FC Dallas vs Pre David Beckham LA Galaxy game in Dallas. At half time we got up and went to sign up to win whatever it was you can win, I believe a jersey. Anyway at this point George realized that his wallet was missing and suddenly remembered that a man had bumped against him earlier. As a result George knew this man had stolen his wallet. We alerted the cops to look for everyone meeting this man’s description. They looked for him and Laura and I circled the stadium looking for this man. We did find someone who we thought might be him, but then realized the chances of us making a citizens arrest based on a guy looking as we’ve been told he should look was not the best idea. We went back and the cops gave George his wallet. So what happened? We thought maybe the cops found him on security cameras. As we finally settled back into our seats to watch Toja’s awesome mullet win the game for FC Dallas the people in the row in front and down from us asked if we lost a wallet. They informed us they turned it in to security. After George thanked them, I offered for George to buy him something, he wanted a beer. He got a beer after George got the nerve to walk past his swim team student’s parents with one. Afterwards he realized the parents all had beers. What a night.
I must confess something that has been steadily becoming true in my thoughts. When I admit this my life could forever be changed. People who care about me may no longer speak to me. Those who have trusted me may turn their backs on me. I may never ever be able to return home as my family shuns me. Let me then share with you what I must make known. I hate Houston and people in Texas are not very nice. Take a moment and let that sink in. Let me be clear, there is great Tex-Mex food in Dallas, but Texas as a whole is a hole. Houston ought to really be called Sam’s Inferno (named after Sam Houston aka The Raven). For 6 months out of the year the relative humidity percentage is over 90%. Compare that to Kansas City maxing out in August at 86% and Kansas City can be fairly humid. Las Vegas for instance maxes out at 53% and is usually in the 20s and hell is only over 90% 5 months out of the year (joke).
Before our recent visit to Houston I told Laura it was just as hot and humid in Kansas as it is in Houston. While in Houston I was forced to recant those statements as I sat at a picnic table in a park for ten minutes reading a book and soaking in my own sweat as though it had been poring down rain. The only way to have any sense of being clean is to give up showering and accept sweat as the “normal” condition of the human body.
We also found that people in the Midwest are generally nicer than those in Texas. Learning this is similar to the feeling when my brothers told me Santa did not exist. An initial disbelief followed by a sad understanding and then frustration at your parents for telling you this lie for so long. I’ve been told that people in Texas are the nicest on the planet, but now I know that you can only believe this if the only other people you’ve met are from New York. Waiters are rude, strangers can be rude, etc. The only exception to this is on the campus of the gem of Texas, A&M of course. All this to say I admit that Kansas is a better place to live. Less traffic, good BBQ (especially burnt ends), less humidity, friendly people, less arrogance, etc.
Now for those of you who are my Texas friends I understand if we never talk again, I’ve been shown the truth and I must be shunned for it and really I wouldn’t expect anything else from our Texas attitude. Now I’m going to go outside and get my mail and when I get back I will have accomplished an impossible feat in Houston, I won’t be soaking in my own sweat.
Below is what a person typically looks like walking around Houston.